I have always found it interesting how different families interact with one another. Each family has a set of unspoken rules that they always follow. Whether they are unofficially assigned seats at the dinner table or in the car or how each member is to act and follow on family public outings. My family had its own set of rules just as yours did. In my family, we knew that you kept up with our oldest sister in the grocery store or you got left behind. We knew that it was never okay to fight over who was left in charge when mom went out for few hours because it was always either myself or our oldest sister. We learned that if you wanted something in life, you had to work for it.

An even more interesting thing to observe is when these unspoken rules are disrupted. Things can tend to fly out of control.There were several moments in our family life that disrupted what we knew and caused us to change and to reevaluate what our unspoken rules were. It was during these moments that we grew as a family system and sibling subsystems became stronger and closer. Change is not a bad thing, Scary, uncomfortable, and strange, but never bad. Change allows us to learn and to grow, to develop talents and discover new parts of who we are. It is how we choose to respond that determines what we learn. I am not a product of what happens to or around me but rather how I act and respond to these events that determine the kind of person I am going to come out on the other side as.