What I have Learned Part 2

Over the course of this semester, I have been working on memorizing The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Although I have not been successful in memorizing all of it, I have learned a lot from reading it over and over again. There are many phrases that have stuck out to me. One of them is "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other..." (Para. 6). As I am set to get married in a few weeks, this means a lot. I am becoming a wife. What does this mean? Well, according to the proclamation, it means that I have the responsibility to love and care for the amazing man that I am about to marry. In the last post, I stated that love is a choice. So is marriage. I am choosing to marry my best friend, therefore I am choosing to accept the responsibility to love and care for him. The way to fulfill this responsibility it different for everyone and every couple because we are all different, and that is okay. I wasn't sure what "solemn" meant, so I looked it up. It means, based on the context in which it is used, "characterized by deep sincerity" This means that we are not supposed to just love them and care for them, but to do so with meaning and intent. Not because it is our responsibility, but because we have the desire to see our spouse happy and healthy. Gordon B. Hinkley once said that the key to a happy and eternal marriage is to desire the happiness of your spouse. (Teaching of the Presidents of the Chruch: Gordon B. Hinckley)

I am so very grateful for the knowledge that I have gained over the course of this year. When I look back and compare where I was, with where I am, I am amazed at how much I didn't know. 

What I have Learned Part 1

This year has been a major period of growth for me. This year I changed my major and it changed my life. I entered my first year of college as an English major with the goal of becoming a children's librarian. I left that same year with the desire to change. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew that I did not want to stay where I was. I had begun to consider a general degree in University Studies until someone suggested that I do more. My new path came to me as I was sitting at the close of the most amazing summer camp. A little girl came up to me, put her arms around me and changed everything. From that moment on, I knew that the only thing that I wanted in this world was to be a mom. To have a family of my own to love and raise.  So I did my research and discovered that the degree for me was Marriage and Family with an emphasis in Home and Family. The most common thing to with this degree is to go into marriage and family counsleing. I do not want to do this. I have created a graduation plan that will help me become a wife and then a mom. These last two semesters of focused, degree oriented classes have filled me with so much knowledge.
By far the most important thing that I have learned this year is that love is a choice. Many people believe that you simply fall in love and therefore fall out of love when the excitement is over. I thought this until I started classes. Love is a verb. This means that there needs to be some action taken and effort put in. Yes, the sparks should fly, but it is up to you whether or not a fire starts and continues to burn.

What do you Believe?

The world that we live in today is filled with so much hate and destruction, that it has become a war zone. Only the battles that we fight are not fought on the traditional front line. Instead, our front line is our everyday lives. Every single day that we live, we fight for the things that we believe in, that we live by, and what define us as human. What does it mean to be human? Some say that it means that we make mistakes and are not perfect, although this is true, it is not what I believe being human means. Earlier this week I went to my local drive-in theater to watch the new Wonder Woman movie. Although I slept through part of it, I did catch the end. The last 10-20 minutes taught me a very powerful lesson. I learned that being human means to love without fail and without reason. As the final battle is coming to its end, a quote is shared that goes along the lines of "it does not matter what they deserve, it's about what you believe. And I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world." The world is only going to get worse unless we replace hate with love. Once we start to love those who are rude to us or do us wrong, the world will start to become a better place.
I BELIVE IN LOVE
From my experience with the world today, most people don't understand that there is more to love than just the frilly, romantic kind. We can love everyone around us and not be in love with them. One of the first commandments that was given by Jesus Christ was to "love one another" I feel that this great commandment has been lost from the teachings of today.
I never expected to have a life lesson be given to me by a superhero movie, but I feel this is why this movie received such high ratings. It was something that had never been done before and taught a lesson that had once been lost.
I have tried several times to teach those that care about that they can be kind and loving to those that are rude to them. I hope that with this movie, this lesson will be spread and understood more fully.
This song plays during the closing credits of Wonder Woman. I feel that it perfectly sums up the lesson that I found in this movie. It is my hope that we can start to spread love instead of hate.

Why Marriage?

In the world that we live in today, the rates for marriage have decreased and the rates for cohabitation have increased. As I am preparing to get married, I have had many thoughts and questions as to why I am getting married. I am young, still in college, and work part time folding clothes. Most people would suggest that I finish school and get settled into a career before tying the knot. Why am going to tie myself to a man and let him take care of me? Well, I believe that marriage and not just cohabitation is essential to having a high level of satisfaction. It has been proven time after time, that those who marry are more likely to have a higher level of satisfaction versus those who cohabitate. The main reason why I have decided to marry is that I can't have the things that I want in life without a faithful and committed partner by my side. I can't be a stay at home mom without a dedicated husband who is willing to work hard for us. I can't be a loving and supportive wife without being married. I recently wrote a paper on the effects of cohabitation, and in my research, I discovered that those who cohabit before marriage are far more likely to divorce later on than those who marry before living together. This is ironic because the main reason why couples cohabit is to avoid divorce. I am very excited to get married and start my life with the man I love.

To my Mother

I have talked previously about mothers and the sacrifices that they make for each of their kids. With Mother's day fast approaching I would like to talk about my own mother. She is amazing. I admire her strength, determination, and willpower. After everything that has occurred in her life, she is still going strong. Not once has she wavered or even thought of giving up. She is my role model and the greatest example of what it takes to choose the happy life that I have ever seen.
I do not have the words to describe what she means to me. I also do not have the capability to express the gratification and appreciation that she deserves. She gave up her education and herself to take care of my brothers. sisters, and me. I will never be able to repay her for what she has given me.
I have spent many ours thinking about what to get this amazing woman for Mother's day. I came to the conclusion that there is nothing in the material world that will adequately express my gratitude for her. Even now that I am grown and living on my own, she continues to take care of me. She is always telling me not worry because "your momma will take care of it." I do not know what I would do if I was living in a world where she did not exist.

So, to my mother,
               Thank you for all that you do for me even though I am old enough to take care myself. Thank you for teaching me what it means to sacrifice for your children. Thank you for striving to make sure we were all happy and healthy. I know I did not make things easy for you and I am sure that there were moments where you wanted to throw in the towel, but you never did. You stood by me during my toughest trials and you suffered with me through them. Since the day that I was born, I have never been alone. You taught me how to love, learn, and grow. You taught me how to fight and how to choose to be happy. you taught me how to live the life that I was given and how to love it. So mom, as we continue to plan and prepare for my upcoming wedding, remember that I will always be your little girl, and I will always need my mom. I love you, mom!!

This Little Rose Plant

At the beginning of the year, my wonderful fiance bought me a miniature rose plant. We went to the greenhouse on our college campus and I picked it out. When he handed it to me he said " This plant is a symbol of our love, don't let it die" No pressure right? I don't have a green thumb! Over the last several months, it has been a challenge to take care of this plant. At first, it was easy. It bloomed and was really pretty, but then it went dormant and stopped growing. I had to think of new ways to bring this plant to life again. As the weather started to change from a harsh cold winter to a nice sunny spring and I was watering and caring for this little plant, things were looking up. My little plant had started to grow. Then, I moved. My little plant did not like moving. When I got into my new apartment this little plant was looking pretty sad. I thought that some time outside would do it some good. I was wrong. The day that I decided to set this plant outside, it hailed and then snowed, and then hailed some more. Needless to say, spending time outside did not do this plant some good or so I thought. My little plant turned yellow and some of the leaves have fallen off. I brought it inside and have it sitting under the window in my room. It has started to perk up and even has a little rose bud! I didn't kill it by putting it outside! Putting it outside in the harsh weather probably made it a little stronger.
When I really think about it, this little rose bush is very similar to my relationship. When you first start a relationship things are great and going smoothly, your learning everything that you can and love is blooming. Then you come to a stand still and things aren't as magical as they once were, your relationship has stopped growing. What do you do? Keep going of course! Take care of your relationship do everything that you can. There are going to be set backs. Someone says or does something that the other doesn't like or agree with or feelings get hurt. I have learned that even though there are going to be moments when you get hailed and snowed on, you keep trying. As you work through the harsh weather of life, you will learn how to make it through and to how to come out stronger. These are the moments that will allow you to bloom. I have come to love my little rose plant and I have come to love my fiance even more.

Blended Familes

As someone who has experience with blending families, I can tell you that it sucks. It is hard, inconvenient, and in my case, unwelcome. The transition from being two individual families to one big family is painful. However, just because my experience with blending a family was not pleasant, doesn't mean that all experiences will be unpleasant. There are moments when this union of families can be beautiful and bring peace and well deserved happiness to the two parties. It can help the children involved to learn how to build meaningful relationships and that family is not always who you are related to by blood. I learned this lesson while experiencing the heart breaking moments when my family decided to blend with another, That experience changed me forever. I will never forget the brothers that I gained and the parts of me that I lost. Successful blended families are unique and contain a certain kind of magic that can only be found within the bonds of two families that came together. Human beings are interesting and peculiar. Each of us act and live in individual lives that are so individual that it seems nearly impossible to blend two of them together. Blending families that have already set their lives and created a comfortable way to live is even more challenging then entwining two lives together. The fact that two families can come together to create new life is simply describable. We live in a world that needs to be more considerate to all of the many different types of family life and living.