There tends to be a lot of pressure put on grades. In high school, we had to have the best grades ever in order to get into college and now that we are in college there is a lot of pressure to get good grades to impress potential employers and graduate school advisors. I admit it, I am one of those people who worries about getting good grades. Are we so stressed out about a grade that we miss the information that we could be learning? Since my major is Marriage and Family, how can we relate this concept to the family? Simple, instead of being so focused on having well-behaved children and an immaculate house, focus on what you can learn by letting your kids be kids. What do you think you could learn by focusing on teaching principles and self-mastery rather than behavior? The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us that "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" (Para, 7). I have learned that many different examples of bad behavior can be fixed by simply loving and respecting your child. The greatest way to teach is to lead by example. All I have ever wanted to be is a mother and I am more than excited to see what I learn from the amazing experience that being a mother is. I have learned so much in the last year and I am looking forward to what the year brings and to marrying the man of my dreams.
There are many things that I have learned outside of the classroom. Living with roommates who start out as complete strangers is not an easy act. We all come different places and different backgrounds. Add in the ups and downs that are the emotional rollercoaster of being a girl, to being in an apartment with five other girls can be unbearable. I have learned a lot about patience and selflessness. I have been trying to relate everything that I experience to the family. So, how can I relate student living to a family? The experience of living with five other girls is very similar to family life. We have to communicate and have respect for each other. We have to set and live by boundaries. Since The Family: A Proclamation to the World was first read in 1995 we have read and lived by its guidelines. One of those guidelines is "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ" (Para. 7). When we live our lives by the teachings of Christ, we will be able to have harmony in our homes and yes, even in the six person apartment that we share with five other girls. Eventhough my roommate drive me absolutley crazy sometimes, I still strive to love them and to be patient. They have their struggles too, and I am positive that I am not the easiest person to live with. I honestly feel that living with roommates the last two years has definatly helped prepare me for marriage. I have learned a lot from the crazy girls that I have shared a home with for 14 weeks every semester.
Over the course of this semester, I have been working on memorizing The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Although I have not been successful in memorizing all of it, I have learned a lot from reading it over and over again. There are many phrases that have stuck out to me. One of them is "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other..." (Para. 6). As I am set to get married in a few weeks, this means a lot. I am becoming a wife. What does this mean? Well, according to the proclamation, it means that I have the responsibility to love and care for the amazing man that I am about to marry. In the last post, I stated that love is a choice. So is marriage. I am choosing to marry my best friend, therefore I am choosing to accept the responsibility to love and care for him. The way to fulfill this responsibility it different for everyone and every couple because we are all different, and that is okay. I wasn't sure what "solemn" meant, so I looked it up. It means, based on the context in which it is used, "characterized by deep sincerity" This means that we are not supposed to just love them and care for them, but to do so with meaning and intent. Not because it is our responsibility, but because we have the desire to see our spouse happy and healthy. Gordon B. Hinkley once said that the key to a happy and eternal marriage is to desire the happiness of your spouse. (Teaching of the Presidents of the Chruch: Gordon B. Hinckley)
I am so very grateful for the knowledge that I have gained over the course of this year. When I look back and compare where I was, with where I am, I am amazed at how much I didn't know.
This year has been a major period of growth for me. This year I changed my major and it changed my life. I entered my first year of college as an English major with the goal of becoming a children's librarian. I left that same year with the desire to change. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew that I did not want to stay where I was. I had begun to consider a general degree in University Studies until someone suggested that I do more. My new path came to me as I was sitting at the close of the most amazing summer camp. A little girl came up to me, put her arms around me and changed everything. From that moment on, I knew that the only thing that I wanted in this world was to be a mom. To have a family of my own to love and raise. So I did my research and discovered that the degree for me was Marriage and Family with an emphasis in Home and Family. The most common thing to with this degree is to go into marriage and family counsleing. I do not want to do this. I have created a graduation plan that will help me become a wife and then a mom. These last two semesters of focused, degree oriented classes have filled me with so much knowledge.
By far the most important thing that I have learned this year is that love is a choice. Many people believe that you simply fall in love and therefore fall out of love when the excitement is over. I thought this until I started classes. Love is a verb. This means that there needs to be some action taken and effort put in. Yes, the sparks should fly, but it is up to you whether or not a fire starts and continues to burn.
The world that we live in today is filled with so much hate and destruction, that it has become a war zone. Only the battles that we fight are not fought on the traditional front line. Instead, our front line is our everyday lives. Every single day that we live, we fight for the things that we believe in, that we live by, and what define us as human. What does it mean to be human? Some say that it means that we make mistakes and are not perfect, although this is true, it is not what I believe being human means. Earlier this week I went to my local drive-in theater to watch the new Wonder Woman movie. Although I slept through part of it, I did catch the end. The last 10-20 minutes taught me a very powerful lesson. I learned that being human means to love without fail and without reason. As the final battle is coming to its end, a quote is shared that goes along the lines of "it does not matter what they deserve, it's about what you believe. And I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world." The world is only going to get worse unless we replace hate with love. Once we start to love those who are rude to us or do us wrong, the world will start to become a better place.
I BELIVE IN LOVE
From my experience with the world today, most people don't understand that there is more to love than just the frilly, romantic kind. We can love everyone around us and not be in love with them. One of the first commandments that was given by Jesus Christ was to "love one another" I feel that this great commandment has been lost from the teachings of today.
I never expected to have a life lesson be given to me by a superhero movie, but I feel this is why this movie received such high ratings. It was something that had never been done before and taught a lesson that had once been lost.
I have tried several times to teach those that care about that they can be kind and loving to those that are rude to them. I hope that with this movie, this lesson will be spread and understood more fully.
This song plays during the closing credits of Wonder Woman. I feel that it perfectly sums up the lesson that I found in this movie. It is my hope that we can start to spread love instead of hate.
In the world that we live in today, the rates for marriage have decreased and the rates for cohabitation have increased. As I am preparing to get married, I have had many thoughts and questions as to why I am getting married. I am young, still in college, and work part time folding clothes. Most people would suggest that I finish school and get settled into a career before tying the knot. Why am going to tie myself to a man and let him take care of me? Well, I believe that marriage and not just cohabitation is essential to having a high level of satisfaction. It has been proven time after time, that those who marry are more likely to have a higher level of satisfaction versus those who cohabitate. The main reason why I have decided to marry is that I can't have the things that I want in life without a faithful and committed partner by my side. I can't be a stay at home mom without a dedicated husband who is willing to work hard for us. I can't be a loving and supportive wife without being married. I recently wrote a paper on the effects of cohabitation, and in my research, I discovered that those who cohabit before marriage are far more likely to divorce later on than those who marry before living together. This is ironic because the main reason why couples cohabit is to avoid divorce. I am very excited to get married and start my life with the man I love.
I have talked previously about mothers and the sacrifices that they make for each of their kids. With Mother's day fast approaching I would like to talk about my own mother. She is amazing. I admire her strength, determination, and willpower. After everything that has occurred in her life, she is still going strong. Not once has she wavered or even thought of giving up. She is my role model and the greatest example of what it takes to choose the happy life that I have ever seen.
I do not have the words to describe what she means to me. I also do not have the capability to express the gratification and appreciation that she deserves. She gave up her education and herself to take care of my brothers. sisters, and me. I will never be able to repay her for what she has given me.
I have spent many ours thinking about what to get this amazing woman for Mother's day. I came to the conclusion that there is nothing in the material world that will adequately express my gratitude for her. Even now that I am grown and living on my own, she continues to take care of me. She is always telling me not worry because "your momma will take care of it." I do not know what I would do if I was living in a world where she did not exist.
So, to my mother,
Thank you for all that you do for me even though I am old enough to take care myself. Thank you for teaching me what it means to sacrifice for your children. Thank you for striving to make sure we were all happy and healthy. I know I did not make things easy for you and I am sure that there were moments where you wanted to throw in the towel, but you never did. You stood by me during my toughest trials and you suffered with me through them. Since the day that I was born, I have never been alone. You taught me how to love, learn, and grow. You taught me how to fight and how to choose to be happy. you taught me how to live the life that I was given and how to love it. So mom, as we continue to plan and prepare for my upcoming wedding, remember that I will always be your little girl, and I will always need my mom. I love you, mom!!
